The McGrath Minute

Thought Provoking Absurdity

What Do I Do Now?

I was involved in an avalanche on Veterans Day 2018. It made me realize that no matter how much preparation or how much I thought I was in control of my life, God, and nature ultimately had different plans for me. There was nothing I could do except hope for the best.

When I left the military and decided that I was going to retire I was excited. I thought I would finally be back in control of my life and that I was going to conquer the world…. I was wrong. Just like the avalanche that swept me off of my feet and down a mountain, retirement from the military was not something I was prepared for.

I spent my entire life either in the military or wanting to be in the military. Every second of my life was consumed with training or deploying. But once that is over what do you do? Sure, I had made plans and I was not going to be like the others that got out without a plan. In the end, I was exactly just like everyone else.

At first it was great, I would sleep in till I felt like waking up. I would eat whatever I wanted and go wherever I wanted but these were just all unrealistic expectations. I had to develop a routine, I had to continue to workout. I had to redefine who I was and what I wanted to be. It is a struggle that will take a long time to overcome. I get to enjoy my family more but it is in a different role. This new lifestyle will take some time to adjust to but eventually I will adapt to it just like I did when I first joined the military.

I decided that I need to redefine my purpose and situation. I picked up new hobbies such as learning how to play the piano or guitar. I did chores around the house that I had been putting off for years because I always used my military job as an excuse of not to do them. I learned how to be a husband and father again.

Billmcg05

6 responses to “What Do I Do Now?”

  1. Josh Cowin Avatar
    Josh Cowin

    Your notes here remind me of the maxim that everything changes. Specifically, Heraclitus noted that we cannot step into the same river twice.

    Stepping through the river of husband and fatherhood when we’re in service is different than when we’re out of active service. Even though it’s the same river, the waters have flowed along.

    Your attention to the difference demonstrates your intent to serve those roles well, thanks for being a good role model!

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    1. Billmcg05 Avatar
      Billmcg05

      Thank you. It is a huge adjustment for sure.

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  2. Darren Johnson Avatar
    Darren Johnson

    Thanks for sharing, I can imagine the change in lifestyle and routine can be daunting to adjust to.

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    1. Billmcg05 Avatar
      Billmcg05

      It is very challenging

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  3. Jesse Thacker Avatar
    Jesse Thacker

    Well said. It’s a difficult adjusting now that you are responsible for choosing the organizations(family) goals, responsible for the (family) battle plan, what terrain your team(family) will fight on, choosing the training and equipment your team(family) will need, and defining mile stones of success and defining what means victory.
    That’s why now we get training on the FFDMP other wise known as the (F)ather (F)amily (D)ecision (M)aking (P)rocess. Most of us will be recycled through multiple phases of this school, luckily most of us only have to go through selection once.

    Keep up the good fight!

    Proud to know you Bill.

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    1. Billmcg05 Avatar
      Billmcg05

      Roles have changed, while I was still active duty I could not go to as many school functions. I would not be able to do stuff with my family. I wouldn’t know when the kids had to be at school etc. All of these things and a rebranding of my purpose in life hasn’t been easy. I also have to adjust to not being so busy with work. But I will get recycled a few times, it develops character.

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